Sunday, November 3, 2013

T.M.S Show Not Tell

She stared at the blue envelope, resting in her hand “Another letter, number 22”, she said in a nice voice. As she stumbled on the cracked concrete, she looked up at the house and noticed paint fading, broken tiles, cracked windows, cobwebs everywhere and a whole lot of dead flowers in the garden. I knocked on the door and gulped.

After a while it was slowly opened by an old man with a walking stick, and a long white beard. I reached out and handed the note to him without saying a word. He stared at the letter and looked surprised. “Follow me”, he said in a calm voice. As we walked down the hallway it was dark and spooky.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Taeshell,
    This is a superb effort with your "show not tell" writing skills. You did well to set the mood which I believe to be a creepy house that is making the delivery girl feel a little uncomfortable. Great use of vocabulary also. Keep up the good work.